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The awkward stages of joining a gym
Like so many of us do a couple of months out from summer, I joined a gym. I thought it would motivate me to get that ‘beach body’, and I’d soon look more like Gigi Hadid and less like Mrs Potato Head.
But so far, all I’ve experienced is a whole lot of awkward…
#1 Go in to ask about prices, come out with a 12-month contract
Gym owners are clever - they never put their membership prices online so you’re forced to head there in person. Then, instead of simply being able to ask about prices, you’ll have to take a quiz, talk about your fitness goals and do a tour of the gym until you’re so disorientated, you’ll sign anything.
#2 Um, is there a dress code?
And now that you’re paying for the gym, you need to go. But what do you wear? Are tights with holes acceptable? Suddenly, that oversized t-shirt you stole from an ex-boyfriend doesn’t seem like appropriate workout wear...
#3 Where is everything?
“QUICK! Jump on a treadmill so it looks like you know what you’re doing!”
It’s hard to run like a pro when you’re secretly trying to suss out where other equipment is.
#4 Am I doing this right?
You’ve done squats before and you’re pretty sure you know how to do them properly, but now that you’re in a room with 20 people, you’re not so sure.
“Is that girl in the corner laughing at her phone or my technique?”
#5 Caught out in class
You decide to try a class and score a spot at the back so you don’t embarrass yourself. But then, the sneaky instructor turns the class around and now you’re at the front and everyone can see your undies through your tights when you bend. #THEWORST
#6 Constant text messages
They’ve got your mobile number, and boy are they going to use it. First, your phone will beep with fun things like, “how about a free PT session?” This soon gives way to special offers you have no interest in, and the dreaded “we haven’t seen you in a while…”
#7 You spot another newbie
Eventually, you’ll see someone in a similar boat who’s still figuring things out and feel a whole lot better.
Now, back to getting that beach bod...
Have you joined a gym recently? Or have you ever experienced similar awkward moments?