10 signs you are his rebound girl

Updated:18 Dec 2020 12:17 PM | Posted by

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Did you know 100 percent of people have had a rebound relationship? Ok, so we just made that stat up but we are pretty sure that most of you out there have been with someone mainly just to get over your ex, agreed? We get it: if you need to bounce back from a hellish breakup, a casual relationship can be just what the doc ordered.

But what about if you're the one soothing his love-battered soul? Being on the rebound receiving end is not always so fab – espesh if you're thinking "forever" and he's not thinking past next week. . If you don't mind being his recovery chick (he is a babe after all!) then awesome, but either way you need to at least know where you stand. We asked relationship expert Dr Dina McMillan for the 10 signs you're his rebound girl.

1. He's been single for less than three months, and she dumped him... as he's told you over and over.

If he's still playing out the breakup in his mind and analysing every little thing she said to him, then he clearly hasn't finished dealing with it yet. Every time he's thinking about her, he isn't thinking of you, you need to remember that. Yep, it's brutal, but it's also true.

2. He finds excuses to talk about his Ex at every opportunity.

"Oh you made me dinner? So-and-so knows how to cook… Long wistful pause. Well she did a mean two-minute noodles… He sighs and follows it up with a Sad Panda face." You're not his therapist; you're the girl he's sleeping with, so unless he's missing a sensitivity chip, he knows he shouldn't be talking about his heartbreak with you. If he's still doing it, he either can't keep it in or he just doesn't care. Either way, both scream "you're my rebound".

3. He says he's always wanted to go out with someone like you - like you're an interesting treat before he gets back to "real life".

Now he's finally free, he wants to play the field and widen his horizons. But are you different to his "usual type" in a good way, or is he just trying to find the total opposite of his Ex?

4. He brags about his Ex's achievements ("Did you know she speaks seven languages!"), but seems pretty uninterested in yours.

If his mind is stuck on his previous GF and all the awesome things she's done, he probably hasn't heard a word you've said, EVER. So he can't be blamed for not boasting about your accomplishments because he doesn't even know (or care) what they are – and that's not a good enough excuse for someone as great as you. At this honeymoon stage, he should be blown away by how awesome you are, unless he doesn't see you as a permanent part of his life – BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REBOUND.

5. When he's had a few drinks he starts talking about all of the fantastic things he did with his Ex.

When your guy is sober he might be locked down like Fort Knox, but shovel a few drinks in him and suddenly it's all nostalgia and weepy talks about happier times with Miss Ex. In vino, veritas or "in wine [there is the] truth". Booze can make him lose his control and what comes gushing out (we're talking words, not vomit) is how he really feels, whether he knows it or not. He might be creating a totally distorted memory of what happened, but as long as he's wearing rose-tinted sunnies, he's living in the past.

6. He admits he cyber-stalks his Ex and asks you to post something mean on her Facebook or Twitter.

It's not enough that the guy is acting cray (and vindictive), now he has to bring you into it too? Geez, what a charmer (or not). The true opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference. If your guy can't stop harassing his Ex, he's not over her, so where does that leave you? As his rebound.

7. He needs constant reassurance you're not going to treat him the same way his Ex did.

The guy's in a totally fragile state, completely shattered and a total ball of issues. Proceed with care because he will be using you as a safety blanket to help him feel secure again. The question is: what do you want? If you're happy to play nanny, then go ahead, but if you're going to leave him - and that's what freaks him out the most - do it sooner rather than later, for his sanity and yours.

8. He doesn't want to talk about the future with you and blames it on the "great plans" he had with his Ex (that obvs didn't work out).

It's not you, it's Miss Ex. He might be using her as an excuse or he really can't imagine a life without her, but either way the writing's one the wall: he doesn't want a long-term thing or he ain't ready for one, and that's that.

9. You'd say your relationship was "fun and sexy" not "loving and intimate".

One of the best things about a fling is exploring new sexual boundaries and the thrill of the new, but it definitely doesn't have the same kind of tenderness and familiarity as an LTR. If you don't feel like your guy's really letting you in, it could be because he isn't ready.

10. He tells you repeatedly he's not looking for a commitment.

Guys are pretty straightforward, so generally when they're saying they aren't looking for an LTR, they mean exactly what they say. Please take a moment to recover from your shock. Look, your totally awesome, so of course he'd be lucky to be with you, but in his (clearly cray) mind you're Mrs Right Now, not Mrs Right.

At the end of the day, no matter how you say it, if you're the rebound chick then your guy is still wounded by his last breakup. He might be in love with his Ex or bitter about the way she treated him, but either way you need to be ready for your relationship to play out in her shadow. If you're totally convinced he's the love of your life, it might be worth sticking it out, but a word of warning: there's a good chance you'll end up broken-hearted and looking for a rebound guy of your own.

Main image credit: @poosh

11 Member Comments

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