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    How to be better friends with your ex (because you know you want to)

    Updated:16 Jan 2020 10:58 AM | Posted by
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    Breakups suck. Anyone who's ever ended a serious relationship — be that ending long-awaited, mutual, drama-filled or out of the blue — knows that saying goodbye to a big part of your life can be difficult.
     
    And the emotional roller coaster of breakups can often mean that you're not always on best of terms with your now-ex, after the dust has settled. Whether there's just too much history, or there's a strange awkwardness between you, maintaining a platonic friendship after dating someone is one of life's biggest mysteries — which is why we don't often do it.
     
    But even though some exes definitely aren't worth the effort, there are lots of fish thrown back into the sea that would be great mates, or were great mates before you dated.
     
    So why shouldn't you reach out? As long as both parties aren't toxic and are both agreeable, it can be a good thing to foster a friendship with someone that you spent a lot of time with.
     
    We caught up with relationship expert and dating coach, Samantha Jayne, to find out the best ways to turn a past love into a present pal.
     
    [Instagram]https://instagram.com/p/BNes-njAvSj/?utm_source=ig_embed[/Instagram]
     
    Why should I be buddies with my old flame?
     
    There are a number of reasons to maintain a relationship with an ex. Whether it's because you simply don't want them to be completely out of your life, or because they're an all-around excellent person, exes aren't all bad.
     
    "There can be benefits to staying friends with your ex, especially if you have a history," Samantha tells us. 
     
    "Maybe you shared a lot of good memories, maybe they are supportive of your goals, maybe you have shared resources such as a home, pet, friendship circle or social network.  
     
    "Rather than starting from scratch you can change the dynamic of the relationship… but only if there are is no sexual attraction. 
     
    "Staying friends with an ex has the benefits of providing you with security, emotional comfort, support and positive emotions," says Samantha. 
     
    "Some people transition into friendship once attraction is gone and some people transition into friendship once they have met someone else. There is no right or wrong. Do what genuinely feels right."
     

     

    Are there reasons I shouldn’t let them back into my life?

    Of course! Not all relationships are created equal, and sometimes relationships were ended for very, very good reasons. If your partner was incompatible, manipulative or abusive, it's not a good idea to get back involved with them — even if it's platonic, and even if it's at their urging. 

    Make sure to think about your relationship and your ex's personality and disposition before reaching out.
     
    "Sometimes staying friends with an ex is purely about avoiding drama. Maybe they haven't let go of you and you are trying to be civil. This is not good in the long run as there is an unresolved attraction and tension," says Samantha. 
     
    "Sometimes people like to move on from the past and remaining friends can be a roadblock to finding someone new — keeping your ex in the background can fill the void of loneliness but will ultimately keep you from getting back out there."
     
    New relationships on either side can be factors, too. "You might have moved on or they have moved on and the new partner is not comfortable with your friendship. This is understandable and should be respected."
     
    Friendships are also best to be avoided if your ex still expresses displays of control over you. "If they obsess over you or want to continue to control you, then they have problems letting go. It's unhealthy to remain friends in these situations because they might try to sabotage your new relationship. So it is best to adopt a zero contact policy."
     
     
    How should I go about bridging the gap between my ex and myself?
     
    1. Have some time apart. Mourn the relationship. Real time apart and completely disengage. No phone, text, social media. This will give you time to heal. You should do this for 3 months minimum — some may need more time. Use this time to focus on your hobbies, work, and living happily.
     
    If you're still unsure if you're ready to reach out as friends, ask yourself "How would I feel if I saw your ex with someone new?" If you still feel pain or become emotional, then you're not ready.
     
    2. Clarify your motives . Identify why you would like to maintain the friendship. Is it healthy for you? Closure, emotional support? Do you still feel attraction? Do they still feel attraction are you genuinely wanting to be friends or is it a power thing?
     
    3. Get in touch with your ex. Be open, tell them how you feel and how you want to remain friends. Be prepared for anything. They could welcome your contact or reject it. If they agree, the best way to go about connecting is to take the pressure off and spend time together as a part of a group.
     
    4. Don't fall back into old patterns. Keep up boundaries. Limit communication — try not to text them daily like you did when you were in a relationship.  Don't put yourself in a position with alcohol, an evening date or go to places where you used to go when you were in love.  Lay down the rules and be strong about them. Don't talk about your relationship. Look forward and be a true friend. No flirting or sex talk. Don't talk about the things that bother you like you would to a partner. This is a whole new dynamic. Most importantly, don't doubt the breakup and stick to your guns.
     
    5. Be genuine about your friendship. Be prepared they may meet someone else. If during your friendship you notice that it ignites your feeling of love and attraction or vice versa, take a step back and time out until those feelings settle, then you can reassess. Be optimistic about your relationship and don't try to compare it to the past.
     
    Go forth and be friendly.

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    1021 Member Comments

    tianabonny148 17 Nov 2020 5:23 AM

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    I'm so happy today is because of Lord Masuka, it all started when my wife left me for no good reason i was so heartbroken and devastated because i love my family so much, this took the better part of me to the extents my boss at work noticed that i was down emotionally, i told him all i was going through he introduced me to this powerful Spell caster called Lord Masuka who helped her in the past to get her husband back, she gave me his email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com and whatsapp number +1(234)-307-0752 when i got home that evening i contacted him and he assured me that my family will come back to me again, i was still full of doubts but to my biggest surprise after doing all he asked me to do my wife who had refused to even speak with me on phone called and starting begging for forgiveness and now we are one happy family again. if you need his help here is his website https://lordmasukaspelltem3.wixsite.com/masuka ?

    ......

    Haley Christopher 17 Nov 2020 2:07 AM

    HOW DOCTOR TONY FIXED MY BROKEN MARRIAGE AND BRING BACK MY EX HUSBAND, you can Email Him Via: (drtonylovespellcaster@gmail.com) Call/WhatsApp: +2348154900380. Am Haley Christopher, am from Los Angeles CA, I want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to one Mr Vega Smith, i love him so much and we have been married for the past 8 years now with three kids. when he went for a vacation in France he meant a lady called Vivian, so when he came back he told me that he is no longer interested in our relationship any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help everywhere, i didn't know what to do until I met my friend called miss Bella and I told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it,that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a great man called Dr. TONY the love spell caster who cast a spell on his ex and bring him back to her after 2 days. Miss Bella ask me to contact Dr.TONY the love spell caster for help, which I did. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his four fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite my husband and I together. it was just like a dream to me and After two days my husband called and told me he is coming back home to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr. TONY with his Email: drtonylovespellcaster@gmail.com .He is the best spell caster who is very capable to help you, and his telephone number/whatssap number is +2348154900380 https://drtonylovespellcaster.blogspot.com Thank you once again Dr. TONY

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    ...

    LizzyDesler11 15 Nov 2020 1:35 AM

    Testimony By Lizzy Desler. How to get your ex back fast! I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore. So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back, after much begging, but all to no avail. and he confirmed it that he has made his decision, and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening, as i was coming back from work, i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him, so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back, is to visit a priest, because it has really worked for him too. So i never believed in spell, but i had no other choice, than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the priest whom he visited. Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com. So the next morning, i sent a mail to the address he gave to me, and the priest assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed, so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day, with lots of love and joy, and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day, our relationship was now stronger than how it were before, by the help of a priest. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Priestbacasim, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com or call +2348144258822 / whatssapp.

    Leah903 15 Nov 2020 7:31 AM

    I'm so happy today is because of Lord Masuka, it all started when my wife left me for no good reason i was so heartbroken and devastated because i love my family so much, this took the better part of me to the extents my boss at work noticed that i was down emotionally, i told him all i was going through he introduced me to this powerful Spell caster called Lord Masuka who helped her in the past to get her husband back, she gave me his email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com and whatsapp number +1(234)-307-0752 when i got home that evening i contacted him and he assured me that my family will come back to me again, i was still full of doubts but to my biggest surprise after doing all he asked me to do my wife who had refused to even speak with me on phone called and starting begging for forgiveness and now we are one happy family again. if you need his help here is his website https://lordmasukaspelltem3.wixsite.com/masuka ?

    saramats 14 Nov 2020 10:12 PM

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    LizzyDesler11 14 Nov 2020 12:13 PM

    Testimony By Lizzy Desler. How to get your ex back fast! I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore. So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back, after much begging, but all to no avail. and he confirmed it that he has made his decision, and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening, as i was coming back from work, i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him, so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back, is to visit a priest, because it has really worked for him too. So i never believed in spell, but i had no other choice, than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the priest whom he visited. Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com. So the next morning, i sent a mail to the address he gave to me, and the priest assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed, so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day, with lots of love and joy, and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day, our relationship was now stronger than how it were before, by the help of a priest. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Priestbacasim, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com or call +2348144258822 / whatssapp.

    LizzyDesler11 14 Nov 2020 12:11 PM

    Testimony By Lizzy Desler. How to get your ex back fast! I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore. So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back, after much begging, but all to no avail. and he confirmed it that he has made his decision, and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening, as i was coming back from work, i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him, so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back, is to visit a priest, because it has really worked for him too. So i never believed in spell, but i had no other choice, than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the priest whom he visited. Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com. So the next morning, i sent a mail to the address he gave to me, and the priest assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed, so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day, with lots of love and joy, and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day, our relationship was now stronger than how it were before, by the help of a priest. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Priestbacasim, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Pristbacasim2000@gmail.com or call +2348144258822 / whatssapp.

    Leah903 15 Nov 2020 7:29 AM

    I'm so happy today is because of Lord Masuka, it all started when my wife left me for no good reason i was so heartbroken and devastated because i love my family so much, this took the better part of me to the extents my boss at work noticed that i was down emotionally, i told him all i was going through he introduced me to this powerful Spell caster called Lord Masuka who helped her in the past to get her husband back, she gave me his email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com and whatsapp number +1(234)-307-0752 when i got home that evening i contacted him and he assured me that my family will come back to me again, i was still full of doubts but to my biggest surprise after doing all he asked me to do my wife who had refused to even speak with me on phone called and starting begging for forgiveness and now we are one happy family again. if you need his help here is his website https://lordmasukaspelltem3.wixsite.com/masuka ?

    Leah903 15 Nov 2020 6:57 AM

    I'm so happy today is because of Lord Masuka, it all started when my wife left me for no good reason i was so heartbroken and devastated because i love my family so much, this took the better part of me to the extents my boss at work noticed that i was down emotionally, i told him all i was going through he introduced me to this powerful Spell caster called Lord Masuka who helped her in the past to get her husband back, she gave me his email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com and whatsapp number +1(234)-307-0752 when i got home that evening i contacted him and he assured me that my family will come back to me again, i was still full of doubts but to my biggest surprise after doing all he asked me to do my wife who had refused to even speak with me on phone called and starting begging for forgiveness and now we are one happy family again. if you need his help here is his website https://lordmasukaspelltem3.wixsite.com/masuka ?

    saramats 14 Nov 2020 4:18 AM

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    Leah903 13 Nov 2020 9:29 PM

    I'm so happy today is because of Lord Masuka, it all started when my wife left me for no good reason i was so heartbroken and devastated because i love my family so much, this took the better part of me to the extents my boss at work noticed that i was down emotionally, i told him all i was going through he introduced me to this powerful Spell caster called Lord Masuka who helped her in the past to get her husband back, she gave me his email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com and whatsapp number +1(234)-307-0752 when i got home that evening i contacted him and he assured me that my family will come back to me again, i was still full of doubts but to my biggest surprise after doing all he asked me to do my wife who had refused to even speak with me on phone called and starting begging for forgiveness and now we are one happy family again. if you need his help here is his website https://lordmasukaspelltem3.wixsite.com/masuka ?

    Lena01 13 Nov 2020 4:40 PM

    Hello i'm so happy sharing this,I still can't thank you enough powerful Priest Ade,My husband left  for a younger lady because i was unable to give birth due to PCOS,I was so devastated i was lonely i cried a lot i even tried taking my life, Then my friend told me about this great man Priest Ade who helped her made her marriage perfect,I also went online and did more research about him i was not too sure but i decided to give him a try he told me not to worry everything was going to be alright,He told me all i needed to pay which was a convenient fee and i did and he did his work and sent me video proof and told me to wait 24hrs that he will be back,The next morning to my greatest surprise it was Shawn my husband on his knees begging i'm so happy,It didn't stop there,I'm proud to say that i'm 3 weeks pregnant thank you so much Priest Ade i'm forever grateful  ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com  Blog: https://priestade.blogspot.com WhatsApp +2347059715465

    Lena01 13 Nov 2020 4:39 PM

    Hello i'm so happy sharing this,I still can't thank you enough powerful Priest Ade,My husband left  for a younger lady because i was unable to give birth due to PCOS,I was so devastated i was lonely i cried a lot i even tried taking my life, Then my friend told me about this great man Priest Ade who helped her made her marriage perfect,I also went online and did more research about him i was not too sure but i decided to give him a try he told me not to worry everything was going to be alright,He told me all i needed to pay which was a convenient fee and i did and he did his work and sent me video proof and told me to wait 24hrs that he will be back,The next morning to my greatest surprise it was Shawn my husband on his knees begging i'm so happy,It didn't stop there,I'm proud to say that i'm 3 weeks pregnant thank you so much Priest Ade i'm forever grateful  ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com  Blog: https://priestade.blogspot.com WhatsApp +2347059715465

    Leah903 13 Nov 2020 9:30 PM

    I'm so happy today is because of Lord Masuka, it all started when my wife left me for no good reason i was so heartbroken and devastated because i love my family so much, this took the better part of me to the extents my boss at work noticed that i was down emotionally, i told him all i was going through he introduced me to this powerful Spell caster called Lord Masuka who helped her in the past to get her husband back, she gave me his email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com and whatsapp number +1(234)-307-0752 when i got home that evening i contacted him and he assured me that my family will come back to me again, i was still full of doubts but to my biggest surprise after doing all he asked me to do my wife who had refused to even speak with me on phone called and starting begging for forgiveness and now we are one happy family again. if you need his help here is his website https://lordmasukaspelltem3.wixsite.com/masuka ?

    Lena01 13 Nov 2020 4:39 PM

    Hello i'm so happy sharing this,I still can't thank you enough powerful Priest Ade,My husband left  for a younger lady because i was unable to give birth due to PCOS,I was so devastated i was lonely i cried a lot i even tried taking my life, Then my friend told me about this great man Priest Ade who helped her made her marriage perfect,I also went online and did more research about him i was not too sure but i decided to give him a try he told me not to worry everything was going to be alright,He told me all i needed to pay which was a convenient fee and i did and he did his work and sent me video proof and told me to wait 24hrs that he will be back,The next morning to my greatest surprise it was Shawn my husband on his knees begging i'm so happy,It didn't stop there,I'm proud to say that i'm 3 weeks pregnant thank you so much Priest Ade i'm forever grateful  ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com  Blog: https://priestade.blogspot.com WhatsApp +2347059715465

    saramats 12 Nov 2020 6:33 PM

    Thank you sir (https://isikololovetemple.com) for your genuine spells. I'm Zara Matteo by name. This is really incredible, and I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Before i met you Sir, i have tried every probable means that i could to get my husband back, but i actually came to realize that nothing was working out for me, and that my husband had developed lot of hatred for me.. I thought there was no hope to reunite with my ex husband. But when i read good reviews about how DR ISIKOLO help others, I decided to Email him at isikolosolutionhome@gmail.com. to give it a try and i did everything that he instructed me and i Trusted in him and followed his instructions just as he have guaranteed me in 48 hours, and that was exactly when my ex called me. Sir We are more contented now than ever. Everything looks perfect and so natural! Thank you so much Sir for your authentic and indisputable spells. here again his website: (https://isikololovetemple.com) You can also Whatsapp him on +2348133261196. Thanks Sir for your help.

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